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"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
-- George Carlin

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself."
-- Oscar Wilde

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
-- Jeff Marder

"Someone's boring me. I think it's me."
-- Dylan Thomas

"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."
-- Hubert H. Humphrey